Meet the Spice

The Spice of my Life

With my spice on his return from the Gulf War, 1991.

Why “Spice” instead of Spouse?

Before my husband and I married, whenever people would ask what our relationship was, I found myself hard-pressed for an easy answer. If someone asked, “Is he your boyfriend?” an affirmative response didn’t feel adequate enough. I’d had boyfriends before and he was so much more significant than any of them had been, and I loved him on a much deeper, more intimate level. When asked if we were engaged, for a long time I couldn’t say yes, due to his … let us say, commitment issues.

So, we weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, and I didn’t see us becoming spouses any time soon; being the phrase-maker that I am, I decided to declare him “my Spice.”

Yeah, we’re Foxhole Buddies.

Like all human relationships, we’ve had our fair share of conflict and drama — of course, the drama came mostly after the kidlens hit their teen years; but, I digress. Before we married, making a lifelong commitment to one another before God, we made a solemn oath to each other that the D-word would never cross our lips. Unfortunately, love didn’t put a gold star on our humanity, so we’re still … well, rather human. Meaning, we argue,  we complain, and we get angry with one another. But we are committed to “We” and to our family. Even in the most desperate hours of our relationship, because of our oath, we simply had to find a way to make it work. And, thanks to time, friendly support, and to God, we always have. We’ve weathered so many storms and come out stronger each time. As a Marine and a veteran, my Spice once likened us to “foxhole buddies.” It’s an apt description. After almost thirty years as lovers and friends we are blessed to regularly enjoy each other’s company, respect one another’s autonomy, and cherish each other in body, mind, and spirit. When the chips are down, we make it work, and are better, stronger, more content people because of it.

With my spice during a vacation to Wine Country, 2015.

If you’re actually interested in reading the nutty and nitty-gritty about the truly tumultuous beginnings of our surprisingly long-lasting relationship, I’ve re-posted a brutally honest blog entry from October 4th, 2014 under Meet the Spice of My Life and How We Almost Weren’t.