Confessions of a Sex Educator, Sexuality

Q & A: Why Don’t Women Climax As Easily as Men?

Question: “I understand that the clitoris has as many, or possibly even more, nerve endings than the glans of the penis. Since the glans of the clitoris is smaller than the glans of the penis these nerve endings are closer together thus making the clitoris very sensitive. So why is it that so many women seem to need vibrator stimulation in order to climax while men climax quite easily with just manual stimulation?” O.G.

Answer: Some women are actually overstimulated by clitoral vibrations. Each woman’s body is so very different. Some need only a bit of manual stimulation and some need a lot, and some require vibes. Some don’t like direct clitoral stimulation at all. Also, because the external clitoris is “hidden” under a fold of skin (the hood), it does not usually receive enough stimulation during coitus — whereas the penis is literally CENTRAL to the sex act for men.

Some researchers have found that orgasms tend to have “use it or lose it” patterns. Since male masturbation is more culturally acceptable, young men begin masturbating at an earlier age. Some women never do. These research findings lean towards “proof” that it’s actually more common for men to climax “more readily” than women in general.

Also, arousal and orgasms actually happen in the brain. And, it’s been scientifically proven time and again that women’s arousal response (in general) is a slower burn — HOWEVER, the average time for direct stimulation for men to climax is four minutes — almost exactly the same average time for women [who are already in a state of arousal] to climax with clitoral stimulation. Food for thought?

Another reason may be religious repression. Women grow up with the adage that “good girls” don’t have sex until marriage — and even then, they are expected to just do it for their husband’s pleasure or for the sake of the marriage. This type of shame-filled message is not conducive to a healthy outlook on sexuality, especially one that calls for enjoyment, for women and can actually be quite harmful. How’s a gal to climax with all that garbage in her head?


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