Random Observations

Why “Sex for Sinners”?

The symbol of the Christian fish in many colors

It was difficult to find a site for someone like Me.

I’ve spent a lot of time scouring the Internet for websites that speak to someone like myself: a self-proclaimed spirit-filled Christian who completely loves the Lord and who also happens to really enjoy sexuality, pleasure, kinky stuff, and talking about the subjects of sexuality and pleasure. In fact, it’s my job. I coach and educate people about sexuality and pleasure as well as about communicating with regard to sex and pleasure in their relationships.

To be fair, there are a few relationship sites that are geared towards heterosexual married, p-in-v (penis in vagina sex) Christians. Of which I happen to fit the criteria. Hetero? Check. Married? Check. P-in-v? Sometimes. Monogamous? Absolutely. Christian? You bet! So, yeah, those sites were mostly for gals like me, but…


I have a low-tolerance for Shame-and-Blame tactics.

The problem I have with most Christian sex sites is that they seem to always be adding caveats about sin; as in, “sex before marriage is a sin” and “using sex toys is sinful” or, wait, “sex toys might be okay, but not if they vibrate because that’s a sin” and “solo masturbation is a sin” or “mutual masturbation is a sin” and “using birth control is sinful” and “fantasizing requires lust which is a sin” and “speaking of lust, having sexual thoughts is a sin.” And, sin, sin, sin.

Hey, I get it. We’re all sinners. But, this sort of heavy-handed soul-bashing is what is driving righteous, Christ-loving people from the pews. In droves. I’m really not down with shaming and blaming people. They likely get enough of that from the world at large and really don’t need any more of it. I may be married now, but my husband and I actually enjoyed horizontal pleasures before taking a trip down to the altar. So, I obviously empathize with Christians who do not refrain from sexual pleasures until they finally reach the marriage bed. Typical Christian sites also default to the assumption that everyone who is a practicing Christian must be heterosexual. Not to mention the assumption that everyone who is married must be heterosexual. Although, I suppose that depends on which state they’re residing in. The point is, at this site, you’ll get the information and encouragement you may find at other sex and relationship sites managed by Christians, only without the shame and blame.

So anyway, here we are at my own faith-friendly site about sex and relationships. I know that the broader the audience I try to reach, the more likely I am to turn people off, and I’m okay with that. As you’ve likely gathered, I’m not down with condemnation — either giving or receiving it. However, I am totally down with sharing faith-friendly, pleasure-positive, science-sound, information with everybody and anybody in a loving, inclusive, and compassionate way.

And the name?

When it comes to names for my site, “Sex without shame but with a faith-friendly philosophy” is just too long. “Sex for Everybody” sounds too much like a call-to-action. And since holy writ tells us that we are all sinners on the road to sainthood, “sinners” is pretty darn inclusive. And, if I’m being totally honest, the fact that it just sounds a wee bit provocative doesn’t hurt.

For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” ~ Romans 3: 22b-24